So after watching Iron Man the movie, there was just 1 thought in my head: Blockbuster summer film hits theaters. Mediocre video game tie-in hitches along for the ride.

The Game Plot: Weapons mogul Tony Stark is kidnapped by militants in the Middle East and forced to build a superweapon. Instead, Stark creates the Iron Man armor and escapes. After returning home, Stark decides to cease weapons production and destroy the remaining remnants of his arsenal. (read LAME)

Sega handles the game’s star pretty well. The armor glimmers brightly. His three main weapons — hand repulsors, missiles and a unibeam from his chest — are fun to use. The first time you grab an oncoming missile and thrust it back is gratifying. Manipulating Iron Man in the air is tricky, especially when switching between flying and hovering, but becomes easier to grasp as you advance.

Unfortunately, the ‘one-man army’ wastes his capabilities fighting in shoddy landscapes against buffoons for enemies. Every level looks awful. Mountain ranges have no depth, while city skyscrapers resemble miniature models.

Opponents are easy targets. Rarely do they maneuver away from your line of fire. The lock-on feature only exacerbates the issue, allowing you to mindlessly hold down your fire button while zipping around enemies as the reticle automatically flips to your next target.

Missions are absolutely lame. Here’s your basic breakdown: Destroy x number of targets, then annihilate a larger, more difficult entity.

At the end of one level, for example, Iron Man must destroy a heavily armored Stark tank. After firing a barrage of missiles, the tanks rumbles down a desert path and eventually just stops in front of a wall. From there, you can stand on the tank and punch out the power core until it’s defeated.

As you conquer levels, you’ll earn cash rewards to go toward armor upgrades. But when you consider the quality of opponent, you don’t really need them. Additional armors are available in One-Man Army mode, in which Iron Man must defeat a series of foes within a specific timeframe.

What sucks is that when you’re not getting 15 missiles up the ass, it can actually be pretty cool to be Iron Man. The shoulder buttons control flight, hover, repulsors and your unibeam, while the face buttons are your secondary weapons and melee commands. Once you get into a game, the scheme feels like second nature and it’s pretty cool to see Iron Man with his arms at his side flying through the air as the sun reflects off his suit. When you’re sitting down to play in a world built around a superhero who can fly all over the place, there’s always that fear you’re going to slam into the edge of the “battle zone” or something equally as lame. For me, that didn’t happen with Iron Man. Sure, there are ends to the maps, but they’re not close to where you’ll be playing, so you’ll actually have the feeling that you’re part of a massive world.

The problem with Iron Man is that at some point someone sat down and said “You know what would be fun? Drop players into situations where they have to do repetitive, meaningless tasks and then add respawning, overwhelming douchebags.” That’s a shame. Flying is fun, the upgrades are neat, and the game can look good. However, these pros are outweighed by the aforementioned frustration, crappy storyline and lame cutscenes. You never feel like Iron Man in this game, and if you’re like me, you never feel like you’re having fun.

We at The Game Druid give it a 4/10

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 at 8:42 am and is filed under Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.